After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
