After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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