i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
