party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
