he puts the penis in happiness.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
