I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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