No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
there is puke in my bra ... again
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
