I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
