Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize