there's paper in my vomit.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
