Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
