ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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