I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
