I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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