I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
