she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
