she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize