I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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