oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize