Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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