My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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