Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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