That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
