Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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