First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
