Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There are leaves in my underwear?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
