We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
