Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
