That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
