I queefed so loud it echoed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
