There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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