Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
