he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
