Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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