the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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