just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
