Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
