He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Two words: blizzard sex
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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