She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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