She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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