Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
