Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

hotel room ftw

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(301): View more from Maryland

soooo we both peed the bed last night...

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(770): View more from Georgia

That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously

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(907): View more from Alaska

You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.

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(641): View more from Iowa

I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

"bouncy castle"

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(812): View more from Indiana

i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?

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(773): View more from Illinois

there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.

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(941): View more from Florida

My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick

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