Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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