I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
