Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
