white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
