Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
