Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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