dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
