didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
...so i touched it.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
