South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
