just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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