So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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