I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
