You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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