i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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