the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
my poor anus
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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