She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
