Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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