It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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