I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize