I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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