I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
