No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
