my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
