Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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