How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There's even glitter on my cock...
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