That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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