does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
