haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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